46. Anxious Thoughts Debunked: Part 2
Broadly speaking, there are three types of thoughts:
Automatic thoughts - things that come to mind that we have no control of. For example, let’s say you work in a luxury car dealership. The average shopper at your lot wears Armani suits, carries Chanel purses, and wears Rolex watches. One day, a person shows up in Old Navy sweats and worn-out tennis shoes. Your automatic thought may be that this person is grungy, poor, and doesn’t belong at your lot. You assume that they’re lost, or terribly irresponsible with money for assuming they can afford one of your luxury cars. You may make assumptions about their education and intelligence level. You may catch yourself having these thoughts and feel ashamed for judging so quickly. The truth is, we really can’t control our automatic thoughts. We all think things that we’d probably be ashamed to admit. This is just part of being human.
Underlying assumptions - beliefs that lie below the surface that have potential to influence our automatic thoughts. For example, if you have an underlying assumption about the way a person who can afford to buy a luxury car should dress, then of course you’ll automatically think that a person wearing Old Navy sweats doesn’t belong.
Core beliefs - deeply ingrained, central ideas a person has about themselves, others, and the world. These core beliefs can highly influence both automatic thoughts and underlying assumptions without a person being aware of it. In our luxury car example, maybe you grew up without much money or material possessions, and you always felt inferior compared to your more well-off classmates. You felt so inferior that you internalized a bias that people with less money are less worthy than people with more money. This core belief may lead you to have certain underlying assumptions about what rich and poor people should look like, which can then lead to automatic thoughts of judgment towards people who don’t appear that way.
We can’t control our automatic thoughts, but we do have a responsibility to become aware of them when they occur. This allows us to pause, ask ourselves if our automatic thought is true, and adjust our actions accordingly.
Automatic thoughts and underlying assumptions can manifest as cognitive distortions. These are also known as “thinking errors,” or thoughts that feel very true, but are not actually true. Cognitive distortions can become so automatic that we aren’t aware of them. Once we become aware of them, we can catch them when they happen and help restructure them to be more helpful.
Here are examples of common cognitive distortions:
All or nothing thinking: If I’m not perfect then I’m a failure/I need to do it right or not at all
Overgeneralizing: Drawing conclusions from a single event or a few events – “I never do anything right” “No one likes me” “Nothing ever goes my way”
Mental filtering: Only paying attention to certain pieces of evidence – i.e. noticing our failures and ignoring our success
Disqualifying the positive: Dismissing the good things you have done or noticed – “That doesn’t count” “That was just a coincidence” “They’re just being nice”
Jumping to conclusions through “mind reading” (assuming we know what others are thinking without adequate evidence) or “fortune telling” (predicting what will happen without adequate evidence)
Magnification/minimization: Assuming your mistakes are excessively noticeable and important (“I made that one ignorant comment that everyone must be judging me for now”) or dismissing the value of your own contributions
Catastrophizing: Assuming the worst possible outcomes of a situation
Emotional reasoning: Assuming that because we feel a certain way, it must be true (“I feel like a loser, so I must be a loser”)
“Should” statements: “I shouldn’t be upset about that",” “I should have this figured out by now.”
Personalization: taking responsibility for things outside your control (“It’s my fault that my mom is unhappy”)
Magical thinking: The belief that unrelated events will impact one another (That bad things shouldn’t happen to good people/good things shouldn’t happen to bad people)
Cognitive distortions are fascinating. I know that when I first learned about them, I felt incredibly validated to realize that I wasn’t the only one who had these types of thoughts. After all, if there are enough to create a list of them, then there must be lots of people who think this way! The most common ones that I’ve struggled with have been all or nothing thinking, disqualifying the positive, mental filtering, emotional reasoning, and should statements. You may find only one or two that you really resonate with, or you may relate with the whole list! There’s nothing right or wrong about you depending on how many cognitive distortions you relate to. This is just an opportunity to become more self-aware of your thoughts that may be contributing to your anxiety.
Next post, we’ll discuss core beliefs. These are some of my favorite things to discuss.
